Who Am I?

Currently, in the state of New York all adoption records are sealed. Several states have changed this law, which enables adoptees to have access to their original birth certificate (OBC). This simple piece of paper is something most of the general population take for granted. With this piece of paper you're given your identity. It's a doorway to discover medical information and family history that an adoptee would never have otherwise. The amended birth certificate is an alias, filled in with made up information. It gives my adoptive parents names, the new name they chose for me, the (supposed) city of my birth, and my (supposed) date of birth. That's it. It's like the Witness Protection Program.


Over the years, my search has taken me down rabbit trails that always have a dead end. I've hired a private investigator, national search and reunion companies, registered with every database, etc. I've heard stories of other adoptees that have had luck with some of these, but I haven't been so lucky.


Last month I took a DNA test. It took about three weeks for my results. When I opened the email, I was literally shaking. As I sat there, absorbing the percentages of each region, the feeling was surreal. It felt like I was being formed; becoming a real person. It was more information than I've ever known about myself. Throughout my life people have asked me, almost daily, what nationality I am. My response has always been the same, " I was adopted, I have no idea." This DNA test also confirmed that the non-identifying information I received from the state of New York was inaccurate. Or, perhaps it was the information my mother gave the agency that was inaccurate. Either way, there's more to this story. I need to meet her. She placed me for adoption when she was 19. I placed my daughter when I was 19. The irony isn't lost on me.

I recently wrote (handwritten!) letters to each assemblyman in New York, pleading with them to pass this law (http://assembly.state.ny.us/leg/?bn=A02901). Until this happens, I'll remain in the dark, drawing lines through the medical history portion at doctors offices. I want, no... I need to do more.  I need to be more involved in this process. I encourage anyone that supports adoptee rights to take this challenge: http://www.nyadoptionequality.com/take-the-%e2%80%8esimplepieceofpaper%e2%80%ac-challange/

I'm not sure where this journey is taking me but I no longer want to sit back and wait for things to happen. I just figure, if we all scream loud enough then maybe they will listen.